What's Passive Disrespect?

You know that feeling.

You’ve just presented a strategy.

It’s been shaped with care, aligned across teams, socialised with the CEO. People nod. You hit send.

Then someone says

“Seems like a good start — but have we all aligned on this?”

And just like that, the room reopens.

The thing you spent four months building is now back on the table. Not because it needs clarity — but because someone wants control.

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It’s subtle.

Passive disrespect comes wrapped in curiosity.

But it lands like doubt.

The kind that doesn’t ask better questions.

It just moves the spotlight away from you.

You finish a thought, someone rewords it and gets credit.

You define a role, someone tells you to stay in your lane.

You flag a misalignment, and you’re told you’re off strategy — without detail.

You’re not confused. You know what’s happening.But you’ve been trained to stay open. To invite feedback. To collaborate, no matter what it costs.

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Until you don’t.

There comes a moment when you stop explaining what was already clear the first time.You stop making other people comfortable at your own expense.

You name it.Without apology.

And the air changes.

People pause.They recalibrate.

But the real shift is internal.

You stop absorbing tension that isn’t yours.

You stop earning space you already hold.

You start defending the clarity you’ve built — not out of ego, but out of respect.

For yourself. For the work. For the room you’re shaping.

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This kind of undermining often stems from insecurity.

A need to reassert dominance. A power reflex, not a strategic one.

And it’s not your job to soothe that.

It’s not their job to make you uncomfortable, either.

That’s not okay. It never was.

If you’re unsure whether it’s happening, record the meeting.

Get the transcript. Use AI.

Ask who interrupts.

Ask who reframes.

Ask who injects doubt and when.

Ask if you do it and what you could have done differently.

Then ask yourself: is this curiosity, or control?

You’ll know.

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I’ve spent years trying to change myself.

Sometimes it helped.

But more often, it delayed the truth.

The answer is not to bite your tongue.

The answer is to call it out. Calmly. Firmly.

To own your space.

You don’t need a scene.

Just a sentence.

This was already aligned.

That’s not what I said.Let’s stick to facts.

You’re not creating conflict.

You’re refusing to play a smaller role in someone else’s power play.

And that’s easier than you think.

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-Layla